Free Vacation 20 off!
by 8Kin8Inu8
Summary: A fish, a super villain, a super model, and a reporter walk into a cabin...OC but not in your face and lemon.


Free Vacations: 10% off!

A very big thank you to:

Kitsune- who edited this story and trust me when I say she did a lot of work!

Bri-Lyn- The professional writer who served as my roadblock manager.

AN: I now know why they are called Beta Writers. Because they are bet'a writers than I am! Ha!

Roxanne Ritchie finally opened her eyes after the effects of the sedative wore off and stared impassively at the oversized meat mixer that she was dangling over. "I can't wait until the 'hanging me upside down' fad is over."

"Evil has no 'faads' Miss Ritchie! Only timeless _agonee_ and despair!" proclaimed the bodiless voice that reverberated off the walls.

"Your pronunciation is getting worse. Didn't go to that speech therapy class I signed you up for then?" Roxanne remarked dryly as she tried to shake off some strands of hair that had wandered into her eyes.

"The brochure was poorly designed at best and when I become the evil overlord of Mitrocity; you will all have to speak as I do!" Megamind laughed manically in glee at the thought until minion, who had been trying to get his attention all morning, tapped him on the shoulder.

"Sir?"

"For the last time! Not now Minion! Metro Mahn will be here any minute and I must be prepared to laugh in his face when he is blasted into tiny bits of goody-goody-goop!"

Minion smacked his robotic hand against his dome, "You called him already! Sir, today is not the best day to destroy metro man." Minion finished in a stage whisper because while he was talking, Megamind had hacked into channel 8's feed and was getting ready to address the masses.

"Preposterous Minion! Today is the perfect day for victory. Good morning to the helpless flocks of Metro-sheep! I, Megamind, incredibly handsome criminal genius and master of all villainy, am here today to-"

"MEGAMIND!"

The angry cry caused every girl, alien, and brainbot in the room to immediately stop what they were doing. Megamind pulled back the curtain he had been behind to confirm his suspicions. "Maya?"

Roxanne had a heck of a time trying to spin in her ropes to look towards the door and when she managed, her jaw went slack.

Standing in the door way was a very pissed off women. Not just any women either. It was none other than _the_ Maya Faya: Victoria Secret model, Playboy bunny, and budding singer.

"Oh my god! It's Maya Faya!"

"I know who I am." The model replied to the hanging reporter.

Megamind came out fully from behind the curtain while Minion hesitated a bit. "What are you doing here?"

"It's October." Maya responded through gritted teeth. As if that explained everything.

"Yah…so?"

"I'm off this month." Megamind still looked like he had no clue.

"This is the month you, minion and I go to my cabin."

"I'm afraid you are mistaken. That was shedualed for next month."

"Actually Sir, it is this month. I've been trying to tell you all morning." It was clear that Megamind still didn't believe either of them so he went to examine his 'villain of the month club' calendar hanging on the wall.

"No, its next month! I have nothing shedualed for October." Minion extended his robotic arm and pointed to the top of the calendar where the word OCTOBER was crossed out in blue and, in Megamind's own hand writing, the reminder that this was the month he was going to take off on vacation.

"Oh…"

Maya stormed over to the blue villain and jabbed him in the chest with her finger. "You better be out of jail by 8:00 tomorrow or so help me: I'm Gonna throw _you _into the meat grinder." She finished, pointing at the grinder still grinding in the middle of the room.

"Speaking of people about to be thrown into an oversized meat grinder. The one that's hanging upside down over it is getting very nauseous and confused," Roxanne interrupted.

Promptly, minion ran over to the leaver with a skull handle and pulled it. This made Roxanne's rope swing out of the way of the spinning metal teeth and lower her to safety. Once she was down, Roxanne switched on her interviewer mind-set but instead of easing into her probing tactics, her head rush caused her to cut right to the chase.

"Ok, first off, are you seriously going on a vacation with Maya Faya? How do you two know each other?"

"It seems that being suspended from the ceiling has affected your memory Miss Ritchie. I believe I told you about Miss Faya last year."

"What? No you didn't! Even with my blood in all the wrong places right now, I think I'd remember you telling me you where dating _the_ _Maya Faya_! I'd remember you telling me you where dating _anybody_!"

"Your deduction skills are very lacking today Miss Ritchie. I am not dating Miss Faya: She is my friend and I did inform you of this. Last year on our 869th encounter. April 2nd at 10:45pm to be exact. It was the plan involving Robo-shrimp."

"An excellent near victory sir!"

"That it was minion and it yielded some very informative information. I had no idea Metro Man had super bite, or rather super over bite!"

"Justice's dentil work is unimportant as long as it sink its teeth into the defeat of evil!" Megamind jumped and streaked in surprise as none other than Metro Man descended into the room with a heroic pose. "Sorry I'm late Roxy but I had a train to catch… literally, the Metro transport ran out of brake fluid."

"Yah-that's great big guy but-just give us a moment. You did not tell me you had a friend! Who would ever want to be friends with you? Even if you did have one, there is no way in hell that it would be someone like Maya Faya!"

"Excuse me, but who the hell are you to say who I would choose as a friend? Our careers aside: I love the blue guy and minion. Now can we wrap this up? It's a long drive to the cabin and I want to get there before early evening to get everything set up and cook dinner. Metro Man. If he knocks off whatever he was going to do now would you let him go so we could skip the jail escape? It takes time."

"I'm sorry random citizen, but evil must be punished. If the search light of justice strayed from the-"

"You're not thinking. If Megamind, the biggest threat to Metro City, takes a vacation: so can its protector."

That got his attention. So much so that he dropped his super pose.

"Hey! If you two are taking a vacation so am I." Roxanne demanded as she planted herself in-between the spandex hero and the Model, still tied up in rope.

"That settles it! The hero verses villain game is officially in time out till the end of the month!" Maya said with a flourish arm sweep like she was a referee in a hockey game making an official call.

"This is not a game!" Megamind argued with a childish pout. "This is a battle to the death! An age old war that-"

"Shut up and go pack." Maya said while shoving the disgruntled villain out the door.

"I'll help you sir." Minion offered as he followed his master.

Metro Man broke into a huge relieved smile. Finely he could take that trip to Fiji! Maybe even stop and see Elvis's mansion! The hero was so excited that he took off without even untying Roxanne.

"Hey! What about me! Still tied up here." Roxanne wiggled in her bindings for emphasis. Great, now what was she supposed to do?

"Ah, here." Maya said as she cut the other women's ropes with a sharp tool of some kind that had been lying on a nearby table.

"Thanks…"

Awkward silence.

"So ah-" Maya attempted to break the tension, "where will you be vacationing?"

"Oh, I don't know. Airline tickets are so expensive."

"And stay-cations are lame."

"Yah…"

"…You could come to my cabin with us…more fun with more people."

"What?" Roxanne laughed. "In a cabin. With Megamind. For a month. Pass"

"Suit yourself. I'm just saying it won't cost you anything and it's out of the city. Megamind's a different person outside of his job. Could be fun."

"Thanks, but I'll check the airlines first."

"Ok offers open until 7:30 tomorrow."

"Ok," Roxanne called to Maya's retreating back. 'Could be fun.'

Every one forgot that the camera was still on.

Roxanne woke up from her nap and was a little confused for a second until it all came back to her when the car jarred slightly with the next turn. 'oh yeah…'

Airlines these days sucked. $20 per bag plus going through security plus the price plus realizing she would be away alone for a month all added up to her reluctantly agreeing to go the cabin. Also add her curiosity about Megamind being "different away from work", plus she still confused about how the hell a Victoria Secret model became friends with him. Which reminded her…

"Are we there yet?"

That's it. Ease into the topic.

"Just over the hill and past a dirt road."

"And Megamind and Minion should be there when we arrive?"

"Yah, they called me when you were asleep. They got the water and heat turned on."

"They've been there before?"

"Yes. They love it there."

"Huh. I would never have pegged Megamind as the 'cabin in the desert' type."

"He's actually very athletic."

Roxanne couldn't help it. She snorted.

"It's true. You'll see. Hiking, rock climbing, swimming in a freezing river. His favorites are horseback riding and wind surfing though."

Roxanne would believe it when she saw it. Clumsy Megamind? Horseback riding?

"You two sound close."

"He's my only friend."

"I would think a celebrity like you would have a lot of friends."

"You're a celebrity. Do you have any genuine friends? One's that hang out with you because they like you and not for any perks?"

Roxanne opened her mouth. Then closed it. Adjusted her sitting position. Opened her mouth again. Closed it with a sigh. "Not anymore."

"Exactly."

"…How did you two meet?"

"Last year, I was at a roof top party. Actually the party was in this glass dome on top of a roof. Anyway, I hate parties. So I went outside to get some air and to get away from people. Megamind was on a building right next to the party, he was setting up his next plan when he saw the lights and decided to watch. I spotted him and we got talking and we just hit it off."

Roxanne still didn't remember-wait! She did remember! A while ago, she was listening to Megamind rant and she noticed he was far more energetic than usual. When she brought it up, minion smiled and answered, "Oh! Sir is just excited because he made a new friend." To which Megamind responded, "Minion!" in an exasperated, scolding tone. She had thought he was lying and she had put it out of her mind.

Roxanne was shaken out of her reflections of her own stupidity, literally, and had to grab the door handle. Maya had turned and was now on some insignificant dirt road that, even if you were looking for it, you would have missed.

They traveled in silence for a while, just bouncing and shaking in their seats with the cars movements, until Maya pointed to a non-naturally colored object you could kind of see through the trees. "You can see the roof from here. That gray bit?"

"Uh-uhg-hu." Roxanne meant to say 'ahum' to confirm that she saw it but the car jarred her when she spoke.

Maya smirked at the sound, "Swallow a jumping bean?"

"Yes. I picked them up at the last gas station."

"Do you know what's in them?"

"Don't think I want too."

"Little worms. They live in the shells and if the 'bean' gets in the sun. They 'jump' until they get back in the shade."

"Really? When I get back to work. I'm going to do a whole segment on'em. I'm that fascinated." Roxanne responded in sarcastic enthusiasm.

"You should be! The world needs more information on gyrating worms." In that tone, no one would be able to tell if Maya was kidding or not. But she was.

The road made one last curve around the tree line. Roxanne leaned more forward for a better look at what lay in front of them. "That's the cabin!"

"Of course. You didn't think I meant one of those summer camp cabins, did you?"

"That's a house." The reporter stated.

It was a house. Made to look like a two-story tent. The end facing away from them looked like it was held up by a large log. The walls painted to match the red rock cliffs that towered above it and the cliffs looked **beautiful**! To the right of the car was a desert field of brush and grass, trees in their full fall colors made up a natural fence. With Cliffs to the left and straight ahead and trees to the right and behind, the cabin was perfectly isolated. Not to mention it was in the middle of nowhere to start with.

"There's a river hidden in those trees and a small town not far from here." Maya looked like she was about to say more when a dog charged from the bushes, barking and running right about under the tires. Roxanne gasped in shock while the driver summed up the situation with an articulate "Shit!"

"Fucking psycho neighbors dogs!" Maya slowed the car down to a crawl until they apparently reached the border of the dog's territory and it backed off. "Here's a fun story for ya. This property belonged to my aunt and her husband. They bought it with a few other rich doctor couples and built this house. The 'psycho neighbors' I mentioned earlier owned all of this plus a couple dozen acres you'll see when we hike later. But one of the old man's daughters was a jail bird and he had to sell a lot of land to pay for her lawyers. The family's been bitter about it ever since." Maya finished the story as they got out of the car.

Roxanne went around to the trunk to help carry bags and some groceries they brought. Maya was loading her up with the stuff that needed to get into a refrigerator when Roxanne got the urge to keep the conversation going. "So how did you get the property? Sounds like there where quite a few people invested in this. Surly all of them didn't back out."

"Actually that's what happened. It's a long drive down here and you know rich people; not much keeps their interest. There was one guy that loved it down here but he got sent to jail for the rest of his life. Combination of a bad record and 'accidently' pulling the plug on the wrong patient. The only reason my aunt kept it was because the rest of the family and I love it here. When she got too old to come down here anymore, I bought it. This place is great and it saved her the trouble of finding a buyer."

"Other than the bad neighbors."

"We live to piss them off. But there is one good thing about them: they are the ultimate security system. Anyone drives two feet on the road or strays onto their old property; they're on them like a dingo on a human baby."

"Humm." Was Roxanne's only comment.

They finely started making their way to the door when Roxanne spotted something white gallop out of the brush and she dropped her grocery bag in shock. "_Megamind_?"

The whole seen played out in slow motion for Roxanne. There was a white stallion, main and tail flowing freely as it ran in the open field and on its back… was Megamind. In a romantic white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Black, tight riding pants. The sun casting everything in a golden glow. The world still in slow-motion, Megamind turned his head and gave her that playful, seductive smile he sometimes put on during witty banter.

Only this time. It was _affecting_ her.

Never taking his sparkly, green eyes off of her shocked blue one for an instant. Megamind crashed right into a tree branch.

Finely some normalcy!

The breeze carried Megamind's shouts of pain to Roxanne's ears, "Ou my giant blue head!"

A few moments later, Minion emerged from the same direction. He was riding a much bigger horse then Megamind, a brown Clydesdale. Because a regular horse would never be able to carry the weight of Minion's gorilla robot suit.

"Sir? Sir! Are you OK?"

Megamind's own horse had realized it had lost its rider and had gone back. It now hung its head to sniff the blue alien hidden in the grass to see if he was still alive. The horse reared back its head when a blue hand shot out and snagged its bridle. The hand dragged the horse's reluctant head back to where Megamind still laid out of view. As if to whisper threats that if it ever ran him into a tree again, it would be de-hydrated. In fact, that was probably exactly what was going on.

Roxanne finaly snapped out of it when she realized that her feet had a sensation of becoming wet. She looked down and low and behold! A juice carton that had been in the bag she dropped had opened on impact and spilled all over her shoes. "Ah! Damnit!"

"What'd I miss?" Maya asked as she jogged back outside. "Oh no! Minion loves that juice. And Megamind's ice cream…"

"I'm so sorry Maya! I'll clean it up." Maya tried to wave the reporter away as she bent down to clean up the mess but Roxanne defied her regardless.

"It's fine. We can go into town tonight and buy some more. No harm done. I'll throw your shoes into the washer."

"Thank you, I just- Megamind ran into a tree." Maya looked to the field to confirm Roxanne's words. Minion was fussing over Megamind, trying to brush off the dirt on his shirt but the villain just batted his robotic hands away.

"Ah." Maya concurred in understanding. The model stood up with the full bag in her hands and yelled out to the open field. "Yo! Megafail! Get your ass over here and help with the groceries!" Megamind gave her a rude face in response which started a brief battle of 'who could make the best distorted face of mockery' until Maya won and the villain climbed back onto his horse, trying to recover some of his dignity and made the horse gallop to the truck.

"I hope you didn't forget my cookies and crem ice crem this time!" Megamind said with his nose in the air.

"Of Course I didn't." Maya said with a smirk as she fished the ice cream out of the bag and tossed it to him. "Eat up!"

"Buh!" Megamind exclaimed in disgust as he caught the muddy container. "What did you do to my ice crem women!" he demanded as he took off the lid and sneered at the flecks of dirt sprinkled on top of his favorite dairy desert.

"Nothing _**women**_. Don't be such a baby! We can go buy some more in town."

"But that ignoramus of a shop keeper keeps his fridge too cold! I have to leave it out for an hour waiting for it to though and it never tastes right!" The blue man pouted and tossed the ruined ice cream back into the bag.

"Are you done with your man-tantrum? Because I still see a whole lot of food in that car over there." Maya finished with a nod towards the car and headed back inside the cabin.

Megamind huffed and dismounted. Roxanne had been by the trunk 'examining' the groceries and the villain couldn't help but smirk. "Even with my impressive mind, telekinesis is impossible without technological assistance. Now you with your inferior intellect, doesn't stand a chance."

"Is plowing your own face into a tree a sign of superior intellect?" Roxanne mocked while placing a particularly heavy bag into his arms. Megamind 'oofed' in strain but recovered quickly.

"Is dropping a two pound bag as you stare at me enrapt-ored a sign of your attraction to me?" He leaned in close and whispered in Roxanne's ear, "I've never seen you look at Metro Mahn like that."

Roxanne dropped a not as full but still unnecessarily heavy bag on top of the one he was already carrying. "It's enraptured and I dropped the bag in shock because I never thought someone as uncoordinated as you could even get on a horse." Roxanne picked up a bag of her own and strutted her way to the door, being Sure to close it so that the alien following her would have a heck of a time trying to open it with two heavy bags in his arms.

The front door lead to a sort of mud room. Along the left wall was a door open so you could see the water heater inside; next to that was a panty filled with canned foods. Straight ahead was a coat hook/shelf that was loaded up with coats, hiking back packs, hiking sticks, and hats, an assortment of hiking shoes on the floor underneath. Next to the coat hook along the right wall was an open glass door which lead to the rest of the house. The dining room table was the first thing you saw when you entered, which is where Roxanne put down her bag.

There was a doorway and a metal spiral staircase that lead to a loft along the right wall. Roxanne turned around and noted the phone on the wall to the right of the door; to the right of the phone was the kitchen. It was a simple kitchen with a microwave, oven, sink, fridge, and an island in the middle. Double glass doors lead to the porch outside. To the right of the doors was a stone fireplace, then a sitting area with glass doors fallowing the shape of the roof to make a triangle. Above the doors where giant windows that allowed you to view the red rock cliffs in their entirety. To the right of the sitting room was a smaller sitting area with bookshelves lined with books, games, DVD's, and a small couch and bean bags.

Maya was in the kitchen unpacking the food. "You can bring that over here. I'll give you the tour and show you where you'll be sleeping when this is done." Roxanne complied then looked up, for some reason, and noticed the ceiling. "Whoa! That ceiling is impressive."

The ceiling was made of planks of wood that fallowed the shape of the roof wherever it curved. "You can imagine what a pain it was to make that." Maya replied as she handed the other woman a bag of frozen peas to put in the fridge.

"I like the floor too."

"Took forever for them to match the concrete to the actual color of the red-brown soil around here. Makes it a hell of a lot easier to clean."

"I bet. That it for the frozen stuff?"

"Yep. I'll go get the rest." Right when she said that, Minion, a god among men and fish, came in with almost every bag in his extendible, robotic arms. "Oh my God Minion! You're a saint." Maya said as she took some bags from the bashful fish.

"He is not a saint! He's an evil henchman!" Megamind protested as he entered with two ripped bags in his clutches and sent a death glare at Roxanne.

"Minion would you mind stirring the stew every once in a while? I've got some chores to do."

"No problem Miss Faya." Maya kissed the side of his dome and minion fluttered his fins in embarrassment. "You're a doll. I'll show you where you'll be staying Roxanne." The model grabbed a key from a bowl sitting on top of the microwave, grabbed Roxanne's bags and escorted her out the kitchen glass door.

The porch matched the floor inside but it had more texture to it. It had 3 levels of flower boxes separated by steps. The sandstone path disappeared around a desert bush and ended at the cabins cabin.

It was about the size of a shack but had at least two windows on every wall. Inside was a fairly big bed but it still had room to spare, even with a small couch, righting desk, and an odd kitchen like sink on the opposite wall of the door. "You only have a toilet and a sink. If you want a shower, you'll have to use the one in the cabin."

"Thank you, this is perfect."

"We don't have cable but we have wifi and movies if you're ever desperate for entertainment." Maya motioned for Roxanne to drop her stuff and follow her back to the cabin. Megamind and Minion where hanging out in the kitchen having a debate about something or other so Roxanne fallowed her host up the spiral staircase to the loft. "This is where Megamind usually sleeps-Oh-a-hang on." Maya leaned over the railing to address the boys downstairs. "Minion? Do you want to sleep up here with Megamind or do you want the empty bedroom downstairs?"

"Um- I'll take the bedroom downstairs. Less noise."

"Kay."

Maya jumped off the little bit of railing she and stepped up on and gestured to their surroundings. "Sound travels in this place so if you want to gossip make Sure you're the only person in the cabin. So, anyway. This is the loft. Tada." Roxanne smirked and nodded and took a look around. There was a futon and 3 other beds. A triangle shaped window was on the only official wall sense the ceiling slopped down on the other two sides. Two sky lights where above one of the three beds and a support beam was in the center of the room. A little door was right next to the stairs.

"What's that?"

"Storage." Maya explained as she opened the door to show the reporter.

Light footsteps announced the coming of Megamind as he entered the loft. He ignored them both as he took out his dehydration gun and aimed it at a bed. Zap, Zap, Zap, and the three beds where gone. He picked up the cubes that where once the 2 smaller beds ant through them into the storage room. Picking up the cube that was once the biggest bed, strategically placed it under the sky lights and poured some water from the glass he was carrying onto the cube and the bed was a bed once more.

"If something happens to those two beds in there and they rehydrate and break the plaster of my walls…" Megamind waved her words away like a pesky fly.

"If such happens, Minion will fill in the walls."

"Hey!" Came Minion's reply from downstairs.

Both ladies rolled their eyes and went back down the stairs. Maya lead Roxanne through the door inbetween the dining room table and the stairs. "Bathroom." Maya pointed to the only room with a slide door. The room was in two sections, one had the toilet, sink, mirror, and washing machine/dryer. The other had a frosted window, shower with a glass door and cabinets with towels and laundry detergent. Another sliding door that dissappeared into the wall separated the two sections.

"My room." She said pointing to the door to the left. "Minion's." pointing to the door to the right. Maya finished with an awkward smile to Roxanne that she awkwardly returned. Not exactly sure what else to do, Roxanne ran her hands over the slope of the dining room chair she was standing next to. Maya looked out the window to check the suns position to see how much longer it would take for the sun to set and grabbed a pair of gardening gloves that had been waiting on the table of dining and made a beeline for the door. "Well, I've got some gardening to do so…bye."

Roxanne watched the women go. The familiar, uncomfortable pressure of being in someone else's house finally settling in on her. "Uh-Miss Ritchie? Would you like to help me make dinner?" Minion offered with a shy gesture towards the ingredients to make a salad.

"Sure Minion. I'd be happy to." Roxanne smiled for the polite fish and went to wash her hands in the sink. However, Minion's bulky body blocked Roxanne's path which started an awkward tango of 'I try to step out of the way but you ruin it by stepping in the same direction' until Roxanne finely managed to squeeze by and get to the sink.

Roxanne was just starting the salad while Minion was putting some dough that would become bisects soon in to the oven when Megamind finely came down stairs, stopped in the middle of the floor and regarded the domestic seen with contempt. "Well…Since I'm obviously not needed. I'm just going to take a hike up Cream Cellars."

"Bring me back some cheese." Roxanne called to the blue man as he was at the threshold of the door. He gave Roxanne a look between a 'you are so naïve' and 'NOT FUNNY.' But before he could correct her Minion beat him to it.

"Cream Sellers is the name of the canyon that came with this property."

"This place has a canyon?" Meanwhile, back at the glass doors, Megamind had felt left out and left.

"Yes. We hike it often," Minion, ever the happy fish, said as he stirred the stew as instructed.

The sun was in its final stage of its daily cycle. The sky was alight in a soft pink-yellow. Dinner was almost done, no thanks to Megamind. He was lounging on the couch flipping through the latest National Geographic magazine while Roxanne finished setting up the table. No sooner had Minion put the ladle in the stew that Maya came through the door, covered in dirt and about 100 traces of various plant species.

"Ah! The thing from the bottom of the flowerbed!" Megamind shrieked playfully as he shielded himself with his arms.

"AH! The couch grew a personality! You came here to work blue dude. Not sit around eating bon-bons." Maya retorted as she pulled the gloves from her hands and ran her fingers through her long, brown, and always gently wavy hair. "Sorry to stick you with the cooking Minion."

"Oh no worries! Miss Ritchie was an exhalent helper!"

"You did most of the work Minion. Unlike _somebody_."

"Hey!" Megamind protested. Kneeling on the couch cushions, leaning over the back-rest with a blue finger pointed at the reporter. "_I_ fixed the water heater before you even arrived! If it wasn't for me, you'd be taking a very cold shower in the morning."

"Enough! I want stew." Maya yelled out of pure impatience and grabbed a bowl. Like hell she was going to follow Minions 'rules of edict' and wait for everybody else after working for hours clearing brush.

"Ah-ah-ah- wash your hands." The fish insisted as he snatched the ladle from her hands.

"What! There're fine!" She insisted moving her black hands behind her back and rubbing them discreetly one her jeans. "See." Minion inspected her outstretched phalanges with a critical eye. "Ah fine!"

The hungry women retreated to the bathroom leaving minion with her plate. He frowned at the black smudges left behind and tossed it in the sink to wash later. "Dinner's ready."

"Finally!" Megamind yelled as he leaped over the couch, doing the splits in midair and sticking the landing a little too close for Roxanne's comfort. Megamind noticed Roxanne's reaction, smirked, and used their close proximity to whisper into her ear…

"Made you flinch," before he took off towards the kitchen and left Roxanne blushing in arous-**fury**!

"How about scrabble!"

"My spelling sucks!"

"Battle ship!"

"You always cheat!"

"Ollo-Evvill Villain!"

"Perhaps we should let Miss Ritchie decide! It is her first time down here." Minion offered.

"Thank you Minion but I really don't have an opinion…"

"I've got it!" Maya announced, she grabbed an empty wine bottle and put it in the middle of the table lying on its side.

"I'm not playing spin the bottle with Megamind!" Roxanne yelled a little louder than strictly necessary.

"What ever happened to _I don't have an opinion_?" Megamind taunted in a bad impression of Roxanne's voice.

"It's not spin the bottle. Whoever spins asks a question to the person it lands on."

"What if it lands on an empty space?"

"Then the person that spins it asks a question that you all must answer."

"Ok. I'll play." Roxanne said with a shrug.

"Oh how fun!"

"Just one question: can we lie." Maya flicked Megamind between the eyes which sent him retreating back into his seat grumbling.

"I'll go first," Maya said as she spun the bottle which landed on Roxanne. "Should I ask a mild question or are you women enough to go right for the jugular?" The alcohol buzz made Roxanne agree to the harder line of questioning. "How big is Metro Man?"

You could hear Megamind choking on his soda as Roxanne thought. "6 foot 8." Roxanne replied with a smug smile.

"Ah! No fair! Ok, your turn." Roxanne spun the bottle and it landed on Minion who looked a bit nervous if this was going to be the line of questioning…

"Ok Minion. Fess up." Roxanne leaned more forward for dramatic effect but couldn't keep her face straight. "What is the secret ingredient in your holiday hot chocolate?"

The fish's robot shoulders sagged in relief. "I use hot mint tea instead of just plain water."

"Oh! I never thought of that." Minion gave the bottle a spin and it landed in an empty space.

"Ok Minion. You have to ask a question for all of us." Minion tapped his dome right where his mouth would be then lit up when he thought of a question.

"If you could do any job, besides your own, what would you do?"

"Who do you want to go first?" Minion spun his finger around in an aerial circle that indicated that the order would go Maya, Roxanne, and then Megamind.

"Why am I last?"

"Jesus! It doesn't matter. Do you want to go first?"

"No! Because apparently it doesn't matter." The villain complained as he through his arms up in surrender.

"Big baby. Ok, if I couldn't be a piece of eye candy, I'd want to be an artist."

"Why an artist?" Roxanne asked as she re-filled her glass of white wine.

"It was what I was studying to be before I was 'discovered.' I was in high school leaving for my free block when I realized I had forgotten something and when I was right at the door. This man came running up to me and said he liked the way I walked and wanted me to try out for this fashion show thing." Maya finished with a wave of her hand and a sip of her wine.

"Well, being a reporter is my calling in life. But before I discovered journalism I thought about becoming a baker."

"What! You, the queen of all nosy-ness stuck decorating cupcakes for the rest of your life?" Megamind seemed quite outraged at the thought as he waved his arms about to further drive home his point.

"A baker does more than just put frosting on cupcakes. And I said it was something I _thought_ about doing."

The blue man just scoffed. "Well, as for me, being a super villain is my destiny. But since the question is hypothetical… I would be a rock god! Influencing the mindless drowns around the world with my theatrical presentation!"

"Don't you need to be able to sing? Or at least play an instrument?" Roxanne said as an attempt to crush his dreams.

"I'll have you know that I have an exhalent voice!" Megamind said as he pointed an accusing finger at the reporter that was wearing an expression that clearly said: 'uhmmm.'

"So since it landed on nobody. Who goes next?" Minion asked Maya.

"How about who ever is sitting on your right?"

"Ok then! Here you go Sir." Minion pushed the bottle towards his boss who was trying to channel Metro Man and shoot lazars out of his eyes at the smug reporter. He spun the bottle but it landed on himself. So he spun it again and it landed on Maya.

An evil grin spread across his face to which Maya raised an eyebrow. "You are at my mercy now Miss Faya." He touched his spread fingers to each other and gave her a flexible eyebrow raise in return. "About 7 weeks ago, I found a black velvet box in your room but you snatched it from my hands before I could open it. What was in that box?"

"My sexual toys." She answered flatly and honestly.

…Awkward…so awkward.

Slowly, a deep purple began to stain Megamind's cheeks and ears. A butterfly could fly in and out of his gapping mouth without touching flesh or bone. Maya spun the bottle with an angry flick of the wrist so it took a longer time to stop. But when it did, revenge was at hand.

"Now. You are at my mercy." Maya said as she mimicked his previous pose and her victims face fell with dread. "What do you find the sexiest part of a woman?" Roxanne took another swig of her wine. Lord knows she was going to need it.

Megamind's whole face was going purple so he hid his shame in his hands. After the world's most awkward paws, Megamind finely mumbled something in his hands. "Sorry. Didn't quite hear that." The man sighed and rearranged the hands on his face.

"A big…butt." Maya practically fell out of her chair laughing, Roxanne's eyes got wide because she knew that was a trait she had, and Minion looked somewhere between embarrassed and sympathetic.

"AhAh-I like big butts and I can't deny!" Megamind grabbed a handful of an oranges maimed skin and hurled it at Maya's face. The woman's giggles did not stop but died down eventually so that she may take her turn. "Ok Roxanne. What do you find the sexiest part of a man?"

Roxanne was taking a shower. She didn't need one, she just wanted one. There were plenty of different shampoos and conditioners to try out. The one she chose was quite fome-tastic but had an unknown desire to get into her ears. She was just putting her head under the water to rinse her hair and use the suds to clean her face-

"Maya you did not pick up more ice crem as promised-Ahh!"

"AAHH!"

"AAHHH!"

Roxanne grabbed as many bottles of bath products as possible and came out shooting them at the guy like an HK21 Machine gun.

"What the hell gave you the idea you could just come in here!"

"I thought Maya was in here!" Megamind explained as he tried to shield his face.

"And that makes it OK!"

"We see each other naked all the time!" He gave up blocking with his hands and had now grabbed a towel. Twisting it and flicking it at her like the bullies in the prison and high shool bathrooms had done to him.

"OW! Get out of here!" She had run out of bottles and grabbed a towel as well. She once had an ex that thought it was _so_ funny to whip her butt with her favorite towel in the mornings. Which is why he was now an ex.

"OUCH! Stop it!"

"You started it!" Their battle of the bathroom had strayed into the main part of the house. Their feet were moving like professional fencers.

Suddenly, a soapy droplet leftover from the shower made its way down Roxanne's forehead, around her eyebrow, and into her eye. "OW!" The women dropped her weapon and clutched her burning eye. "AH, AH, soap in my eye, soap in my eye!"

"Here! Here! I got it!" Megamind took his towel and avoided her battering hands of protest and wiped the burning substance from her eye. "There, see?" Roxanne snatched the towel from his hands but failed to notice the comforting arm he had draped around her to hold her still.

"Uh…?"

Both turned to find Minion staring at them with his mouth at the bottom of the tank. Roxanne was still naked, in his boss's arms, and his boss was without a shirt, only his P.J. bottoms.

Megamind's eye flicked to the women in his arms then back to Minion. He through the towel that was on the ground around Roxanne and took a very large step back. "It's not what you think!"

"He came into the bathroom and saw me in the shower!"

"I thought Maya was taking a shower!"

"He saw me **naked** in the shower!"

"So I went in to scold her for not getting more ice crem!"

"He saw me naked!"

"And she flipped out!"

"_Megamind_ saw me naked!"

Both stood there panting with fingers frozen in the air at each other. Minion raised a finger, opened his mouth, lowered his finger, closed his mouth, then repeated the cycle again. "Who wants' pancakes!" Smooth Minion, smooth.

They were on their way to town to get more ice crem-cream! After Megamind got into a 45 minute rant about how the whole incident this morning was Maya's fault for not getting his ice cream yesterday. Maya was driving while Megamind sat, disgruntled, beside her. Minion and Roxanne sat in the back trying not to look at anything in particular.

Then Roxanne decided to ask about the 'anything in particular.'" Are we going to be eating at that restaurant on the hill some time?"

Maya scoffed, "Hell no. That's the bad neighbor's restaurant." The conversation seemed to die there…

The town was small and named after some dead guy that got his own statue in the middle of their one park. The buildings where few and far between with a very apparent theme: ugly.

No one was out today for it was Sunday they were all talking to an invisible man in the sky that grants wishes seemed to be their only means of entertainment. Fortunately, the man that ran the convenients store was blind and therefore could not read a calendar.

"Good morning Joel." Maya greeted the old man behind the counter.

"Maya! Very nice to hear from you child. Bring any friends with money?"

"Joel, I'd like you to meet Roxanne. She is filthy rich."

"Well I don't know about filthy rich but it's nice to meet you Mr. Joel." Roxanne greeted as she stuck out her hand to shake. Joel had to feel around in the air for a bit before he found her hand and gave it a gentlemanly kiss.

"I can tell you are very beautiful because you have a voice full of heart."

"That is very kind of you sir." Roxanne said with a genuine smile.

"Joel's a charmer. Used to steel every woman's heart from here to New York."

"What are you talking about? It was from here to Germany and I'm still steeling them. Thank you very much!" They all laughed until Megamind came up to the counter and patted Joel's balding head in their usual greeting.

"How you doing thiny?"

"Getting by baldy." Joel said as he patted the alien on the head. "That 'fish' with you?"

"Joel doesn't believe Minion's really a fish." Maya whispered to Roxanne.

"I'm blind, not deaf." Joel just had to point out.

"I'm here Mr. Joel."

"Are ya still interested in westerns? Got three new films in." Joel, despite being blind, pointed in the right direction at the back of the store.

"Yes sir! How much?"

"$689.00 but for you.$25.77."

"Your too kind sir."

"Find your ice cream?" Maya asked the man staring into the ice cream fridge like a six year old boy staring at a python at the zoo.

"They have two new flavors! When did this happen?"

"Get all three!" both Joel and Maya said at the same time.

Megamind pulled all three ice creams from the fridge and headed to the cash register. "What are you going to get Roxanne?" Maya asked.

"I don't really need anything."

"Too bad. Whoever comes in through that door either byes something or donates to the J.R.R.F." Joel said in a tone that didn't give anybody any slack in the matter.

"What's the J.R.R.F?"

"The Joel Robertson Retirement Fund," Maya said, smiling at the old joke.

"There really is no way around it!" Minion assured from the back of the store.

"It sounds like a very noble cause but I didn't bring my purse." Roxanne said with genuine regret.

"She'll bye this." Megamind announced as he tossed a purple geode key chain on the counter. "On me."

Joel picked it up and felt to see what it was. "Oh, a key chain. How generous of you. Who in the seven hells taught you how to charm a lady? Scrooge?"

Megamind's smile fell. "I'm not trying to 'charm' anybody! I'm just trying to get out of here that much faster! And besides, Miss Ritchie is already taken." Megamind finished with his nose in the air.

Joel just scoffed as he added it into the cash register, it speaking in an electronic voice to confirm what he had just put in. "You know back in my day a girl didn't even spit in your direction unless you came a calling with 20 pounds worth of roses in your arms."

"First of all, what makes you think you have the right to buy me anything? _I have a paying job_ unlike you." Megamind seemed to be ready to debate that fact but stopped as soon as he remembered that she was just using her nosy reporter skills to dig up information and stopped. "And second of all, I can't believe I even have to inform you of this. **Metro Man and I are not a couple!**"

"What!"

"What?" Minion said as he dropped his many DVD's on the floor in shock.

"Buy's you a key chain and never listens to you. Boy, you need more dating help then I thought." Joel pointed out with a tisk, tisk shake of the head.

"You are lying! I saw you two go to homecoming and prom together." Megamind had walked around Maya just to point in Roxanne's face. His finger was so close that she had to cross her eye's just to see it.

"We went together as just friends! Even back then rumors about me and Metro Man killed my dating life."

"Are you going to pay or not?"

Megamind ignored the old man as he through his arms up in surrender of the facts. "I can't believe this! Ten years of using you as bate for nothing?"

"Actually, Sir, it still worked. He did come to rescue her all those times." Minion said trying to calm his emotional boss.

"Ten years of tying a _single_ woman up in a chair. All this time you meant _nothing_ to Metro Man!"

"Ok son. An old man does not need to hear this." Joel said, completely missing the meaning.

"I-ju-you ju-an-I-Ah! I'll be in the car!" The raving lunatic pulled the door open too roughly. The door crashed into the wall knocking the bell completely off it with one last 'tin-k.'

"Sir! SIR! Please wait a second!"

The store was quiet after the pair left the building. Leaving Maya to fix the door and Roxanne to pick up the DVD's Minion had dropped. "This'll be all Joel. I'll pay for it."

"I'll pay you back when we get back to the cabin." Roxanne insisted. "At least some of it." Maya just waved the offer away.

"I have more money then I'll ever need. This won't put me in financial ruin."

"Care to make a charitable donation to the J.R.R.F?" Joel asked in good humor.

"Show Roxanne your magic trick and I will."

"Magic trick? Are you a magician Joel?" Roxanne kidded. Maya took out an assortment of bills and handed one to the old store clerk. Joel took it and humored Roxanne with a few magic words.

"Alakazam! This bill is a one." He said with confidence. He then put the bill in the register. "Another 81 and 7cents and we'll be straight."

"And this one?" Joel picked up the next bill.

"A ten. You know your bill will be paid faster if you give me a 50."

"I'll pay with a card for most of it. Last few." Joel sorted through each bill.

"20, two fives, a ten, and another one." Joel said as he pointed to each bill.

"That's amazing! How do you do that?" Roxanne was now thoroughly impressed. He was blind wasn't he?

"Years of dealing in the dark. But I'll tell you some of my tricks if you want."

"Please do." The old man took a sample of each bill and laid them out on the counter.

"One's are usually treated the worst because they are worth the leased. Especially in this economy. They are usually quite wrinkly and, I'm sorry to say, more grimy then the other bills." Joel picked up the ten and five. "Ten's and Fives are usually quite similar but fives have a, let's say, softer feel to them. Now twenties-" he held up the last bill. "are kept in the wallet for longer. They have a very obvious crease in them and often tares along the edges."

"What about hundreds?"

"Not in this store sweetheart." You couldn't help but smile at that truth.

"Of course there are other indicators like the feel of the ink patterns and other tricks that come with experience."

"You are very impressive Mr. Joel."

"Never ceases to amaze me."

"Thank you ladies. Now, slide your credit card through."

"Ahg! I'm so out of shape!" Roxanne collapsed, sweat and all, onto the sofa. Megamind, damn his stamina, lepped over the back and landed right next to her with arms draped over the back. The hike had been beautiful. Smooth red rock as far as the eye could see with Tim Burton like desert trees every once in a while. The sky had been a crystal clear blue with no clouds to speak of.

Roxanne had known she had slowed everybody down. Minion and Maya had held back to keep her company while she panted and wheezed. She was a good runner but hiking required a whole different set of muscles. As for Megamind-the little prick. He hadn't even bothered to slow down in the slightest. He would stay with them for a while to banter and taunt then just disappear. They would find him a bit later sitting on top of a giant bolder waiting for them. The bastard.

"I will not argue with you Miss Ritchie. Your performance was greatly lacking."

"Shut it you blue bastard." Roxanne swore she had lost her lungs on the second cliff and when her body figured this out, she was going to die.

"Tisk, tisk, has your sharp tongue dulled from all that exposure to air?"

"Give her a break. You were even worse than her on your first hike. Do you recall? '_how much farther? My legs hurt. My internal organs hurt. My body hurts. That rock tripped me on purpose_.'" Maya mocked to Roxanne's gratitude. Lord knows she didn't have the strength to do it herself.

"Would you like some tea Miss Ritchie?" Minion asked.

"Yeah. thanks." Minion went off to steep the tea while Maya set her jacket down and headed over to the media section. Roxanne noted how quickly the man on the couch with her turned like the tilta-hurl at Metro Fair to face the women.

"Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! Where do you think you're going?" Maya stopped dead with a CD in one hand.

"It's my turn to pick the music."

"Your musical preferences suck!"

"Yes, this fact has been well established through many years of research. But if I have to listen to 'Highway to Hell' one more bloody time on this trip-"

"But your music is so girwy!"

"Girly." Roxanne corrected from her couch coma.

"OH! The CD slipped. Guess we're listening to it."

"That it an astronomical impossibility-oh for the love of..!" The first notes of the song Lucky by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat started to play.

"Oh this is such a cute song." Roxanne had heard it once before.

"I'm surrounded by estragon!" Megamind shouted as he got up to flee the 'unknown zone.' "Minion! Let us retreat to a more manly-"

"Oh is that 'Lucky'? I love that song!" Minion practically gushed as he handed Roxanne her tea.

"Am I alone here!" Everyone 'shushed' him so that they could hear the song better. He just crossed his arms with a pout and retreated to Minion's room until the mixed CD ended.

"Finely something more manly, evil, and destructive!" Maya had finely gathered all of the unwanted plant matter on her property into a workable area and now came its traditional send off. Burn it all to hell in a monstrous bonfire!

"Less talk, more logs and tumble weeds." Maya instructed to the villain who was far too happy at the moment as she ignited the first spark. Roxanne was trying to adjust her work gloves when something with thorns was slammed into the back of her head.

"Oh I'm so sorry Miss Ritchie! Are you ok?"

"Yeah-I'm fine Minion." Roxanne's face scrunched up in pain as she withdrew her hand and discovered a small amount of blood.

"You're bleeding! Oh I'm soo sorry! I'll go get the first aid kit!"

"But Minion I'm fine! It's just a scratch!" But Minion was already half way across the field.

"You ok?" Maya asked holding a sizable log halfway through a fallow through toss.

"It's fine. A thorn just got me."

"Good. Could you help Megaweak over there with that log?" She tilted her head indicating the general location of the bushes closest to the river where Megamind was currently tugging on a tree three times his size height. His face was turning purple with strain when he suddenly lost his grip and flopped to the ground like a fish in a dish.

Roxanne smiled at the pathetic sight and walked over to him. Megamind didn't notice her presence as he put both of his feet on the log in a hapless attempt at gaining leverage. "A supper genius like you should know that that will never work."

"Ah!" Was his rebuttal as he fell to the ground. Megamind waited for the earth stop that infernal shaking before he even thought about speaking. He was about to deliver a brilliant verbal blow but froze. Roxanne was smiling over him, a backdrop of evening sky making her eyes shine all the brighter. He realized all over again how beautiful-

"You do realize that this log is stuck in frozen mud right?" Well, that killed his poetic mindset.

"Yes, I am well aware of that!" Deciding to turn this failure into a presentation opportunity, Megamind put his hands behind his head and leapt to his feet like a professional acrobat. He had a mental celebration of victory when he saw Roxanne's 'I'm reluctantly impressed' face.

Roxanne took a moment to examine the situation, unaware that when she bent over Megamind blatantly ogled her rear end. "We could use that other log over there and pry it out."

"…"

Roxanne looked over her shoulder to see what his deal was and found it odd how right when she looked, he suddenly found the sky very interesting.

"I can get that log out by myself Miss Ritchie! I can build a ten story robot with a light show to demonstrate its awesome power in mere hours-"

"Catch!" Megamind lady-screamed as a thick branch, which would be perfect for Roxanne's plan, landed in his arms.

"Put it in place and we'll both step on it." Megamind mumbled something along the lines of Roxanne is spending too much time with Maya but did as instructed. Roxanne put one foot on the branch. "Ok, ready? One, two, three-"

"Whow!" Megamind had not been 'ready' and had slipped. He flailed wildly as he tried to steady himself. His arms remembered Roxanne was there and wrapped around her in a death grip.

Roxanne froze. His arms pinned hers to her side and his face was now unceremoniously smushed into her breast. A horrible moment passed with them frozen like this until one or both of them leapt away like a bomb had just gone off with faces red and purple.

"…."

"….."

"Right! Well we should probably get this log over-"

"Yeah we-"

The log became loose with much fumbling and awkward moments. They both dragged it to the bonfire pile.

No one mentioned it ever again.

Roxanne closed the glass door and leaned against it with a grown. She was sore **all over**. A hike and a bonfire was way too much for one day! She needed tea-and an ice pack. She tried to stay quiet because no one else was up yet. Once Roxanne had her tea, she wondered over to the video selection and found quite a few movies she liked. Maybe she'd have a stay at home movie day if the others wanted to go on another hike.

Taking another sip of her tea Roxanne started to head back to the kitchen when she heard movement in the loft and looked up. She froze. Through the hole where the stairs went through you could see the end of Megamind's bed. And the end of Megamind.

There, on full display, was his little, blue, butt. He was obviously getting dressed and there was his butt. His unnaturally tiny, toned…cheeks that are blue and on full display.

Roxanne took a sip of her tea and innocently walked away before her luck ran out and Megamind turned around and notice her staring. She was leaning casually on the island in the kitchen with tea still in hand when Megamind finely came down. He stretched and smirked as he noticed her. "Good morning Miss Ritchie! You are up quite early. Did you, by chance, see the sun rise?"

"No…But I saw the moon."

"Ah yes. It was a full one was it not?"

"…(sip). Yes."

"Did you know that a blue moon is one of the rarest sights to behold?-"

That did it. Roxanne choked on her tea. Then started to cough and laugh at the same time. Megamind looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"Who the hell let a hyena into my house?" Maya asked as she emerged from her bedroom rubbing her eye.

"I believe that a combination from the trauma of last night with inhaling all those burnt plant partials has caused Miss Ritchie to go mad." Megamind was officially in science mode as he carefully studied the hysterical reporter.

"Trauma? You mean from when Minion hit her on the head?"

"…yes-that…trauma."

"I caused Miss Ritchie head trauma!" Everyone not laughing turned to see Minion 3 seconds away from an aneurism.

"Ka! No-no Minion-ahahaha! I'm-I'm finnahahaha!." Roxanne tried to assure everyone but especially Minion that she was not mad but-**a blue moon**!

Suddenly, Roxanne's feet where no longer on the floor and her torso was being crushed in a gorilla hug. "Oh Miss Ritchie please hang on! I'll make it up to you! I'll wait on you hand and foot! I promise! And when we get back to the city, we'll get you the best doctors in the world! No, if we wait you'll only get worse. I'll take you to the hospital now. Maya! Where are the car keys?"

"Minion this is very sweet of you but, for the thousandth time, I'm ok. Healthy even!" Roxanne said through the mountains of pillows, comforters, and various comfort foods. But because Roxanne spoke through pillows, comforters, and various comfort foods all Minion hear was, "Inyon-muthfg-veet-'and possibly something about wanting another pillow.

"Well I'll look Miss Ritchie but I think you have most of them." Minion got up from the floor where he had been massaging her feet to look for another pillow. The fish didn't even notice Megamind sitting at the dining room table glaring lasers at them both. They had somehow managed to keep Minion from rushing Roxanne to the nearest hospital but the fish still insisted on catering to Roxanne's every need.

For 4 hours…

"I found some more pillows! Sorry Sir but I had to borrow them from your room." Minion didn't even bother to ask him if it was ok. Megamind clenched his fists in a jealous rage as he noticed that Minion had not only 'borrowed' _a_ pillow from _his_ room. But his _favorite_ pillow. The black one with the blue threading at the edges that barley kept it from falling apart. The pillow that Minion gave to him on his 10th birthday. The very first thing Minion ever sewed…

Minion put the pillow under Roxanne's feet. "Muhuhumic!"

"Ice cream? Sure thing!" Minion went over to the fridge and pulled out the only one they had. "Cookie's and cream it is then!"

"**NO!**" Megamind stood up pounding his fists onto the table. "**That is **_**my**_** ice crem**!" The blue man turned purple stomped over to where Roxanne was buried and yanked everything off of her. The dishes and bowls holding brownies and chips clattered to the floor. Megamind wasn't breathing as he pointed at her disheveled face. "In the last 257 minootes and 32 secoonds, you have taken my bed sheets, my favorite pillow, my ice crem, and my best friend!" He seethed as he bent each finger counting the items listed off. "Well I have had it up to here! With you taking things from me! I mean th-that's gust so, so EVIL! Yes, that's it, evil! What is wrong with you! Ever since you came out here you've been all-" He paused, waving his hands around in the air as he tried to think of a word. "_involved_ in my doings in ways that you should not be involving yourself! Just because we are living together doesn't mean you have the right to anything you desire! Especially: **my ice crem**!"

Roxanne was being attacked. With words. So she stood up to defend herself. "My ice crem! My ice crem! Its ice **cream** you slobbering excuse for a villain! And I'm so sick of hearing about it! Second of all, I'm not living with _you_ I'm living in cabin _next_ to you! I wouldn't live with you if you were the last person on earth! You're not even a person! You're just some _extinct_ species! Why the hell, out of all the planets out there, where you sent here? Sometimes I wish you had just died!"

"Well that makes two of us!"

Well that was it. All ammunition used. War over. But it wasn't until Megamind's eyes were filling up with tears that Roxanne felt the gravity of what she had just said. Megamind pushed past her, bumping his shoulder against her and fled the cabin before anyone could see him cry. Maya was standing by the fireplace, no sign of Minion, just staring at her.

"Bitch."

Maya ran off after Megamind. Roxanne was alone.

It was the much anticipated Calf Creek hike. Ever since the first night, everyone had been gushing about how beautiful it was. Long, six miles, but flatish. But it was not as fun as Roxanne anticipated it to be.

Megamind was ahead of everybody but his depressed state of mind was slowing him down to the point where he was at least visible at all times. Maya and Minion were walking faster than the first hike, refusing to walk next to Roxanne but, being nice people, they stayed close enough so that Roxanne could see where they were going.

Roxanne was at the back of the pack, feeling like crap. How could she say such horrible things to him? They weren't on the friendliest of terms but what she had said was totally out of line. Not to mention… just plain cruel…

She had tried to find him and apologize but she couldn't find him. Maya and Minion refused to talk to her. Whenever she tried to pass them to get to him Maya would block her path or 'accidentally' hit her with her hiking stick.

Roxanne sighed as she swept her bangs aside. The walk was beautiful though. It started out in red rock terrain, and then turned into a marsh. They were now surrounded by red rock cliffs following a river. The river twisted like a snake and was cradled in hills of grassy reeds. The water was new glass clear so you could see the occasional black fish swimming against the easy current.

Then she saw it. "Oh. My. God."

The waterfall. It was as tall as the KMCP channel 8 news headquarters! It bounced off the cliffs that nearly blocked out the sky then plummeted down to a red sand basin. To the right, the grassy reeds stopped before they got too close to the basin. Crawling up the wall in a great, green, hill with trees every few feet. The lower section of the cliffs had turned black with mildew and…

"Are those plants growing upside down!" The cliff curved inward slightly about half way down the falls and there where small bushes/reeds defying gravity on the cliff face.

Roxanne needed a moment to take it all in. So worth the long, awkward hike. Speaking of why it was awkward…Megamind was standing at the edge of the pool, Maya and Minion were finally backing off. It was now or never…

Roxanne took a breath and marched right over. Actually it was more of crab walk shuffle but she got over there all the same. It was chillier over by the water, the ghost of the mighty falls spray making it all the colder. Take a breath, "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Wait what?

"What are you apologizing for? I'm the one that said all those terrible things and made you cry-"

"I did not cry! I was-just so frustrated that my aqueous produced more lipocalin than was strictly needed at the moment!" Megamind puffed up his chest in a manly-balloon like way.

"Ok. I don't exactly know what aqueous and lipocalin mean but your eyes where 2 seconds away from becoming that." She pointed at the falls right next to them.

"First of all, I do not have that amount of water in my body at any given time. But I suppose you would think that because, as you pointed out yesterday, I am an alien! This is some apologee Miss Ritchie!"

Why did he have to make everything so damn difficult! "If you would just shut up about your fu-!" Roxanne's mouth formed into an 'O' as she realized that that log she had stepped on to get closer to Megamind's face was not the best plan. She slipped and both Megamind and her went tumbling into the frozen water.

Both of them surface soaking wet and gasping in shock. "Now look what you've done! We'll freeze to death before we get back to the car!" Megamind looked down at his clothes in dismay, already shaking from the wind chill. Roxanne crawled from the water coughing with her hair stuck to her face.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for the stupid ice cream! I'm sorry for writing a secret segment about you and Maya! I'm sorry for taking Minion's attention from you! I'm so sorry for pointing out how alone you are! I'm actually glad you're here, thrilled! You make my life so much more exiting!" Roxanne looked up at Megamind through her wet bangs. He was shocked. She was crying. "I didn't mean it when I said I want you dead. You have more right to live than I do. There are 7 billion humans in the world but only one of you in the universe. And I'm ju-I'm Sorry." Roxanne turned her face away so no one could see her at her most pathetic. Wet from head to toe, stripped down, and col-"Hu."

Roxanne gasped but did not look up when a slight warmth covered her shoulders and side. I was obvious that he didn't have much experience comforting people as he awkwardly stroked her shoulders with his long, thin thumbs. "There's…only one of you in the universe…" Roxanne smiled through her tears and tried to wipe her face with her hand. Not very effective when you just went swimming…

"Excuse me, but did you just say you were writing a segment on us?" Both of them looked up to see Maya standing there with her arms crossed and Minion seeming happy that everything was back to normal.

"Aha." Roxanne tried to clean her face once again as both Megamind and her stood up. "Don't worry." Sniff, "I'll delete it all when we get home and dry off." Roxanne smiled as Megamind as he helped her over that troublesome log. Not noticing how his breath caught.

That was the first time she had ever _smiled_ at him…

"Could you turn up the heat? It's freezing back here!" Megamind and Roxanne were shivering, dressed only to a point of barely being descent, in the back seat. "And sitting on plastic bags is very undignified!"

"Well you should have thought of that before you two decided to jump into the river." Maya sated in a matter o' fact way from the driver's seat.

"We f-fell in." Roxanne said before Megamind could say anything stupid.

"Doesn't matter. You're still wet. Ha!" Megamind rubbed a finger on his wet boxer-briefs and stuck it in Maya's ear. "Ahck! That better be water or you're walking home!" Megamind chuckled as Maya had no choice but to tilt her head at an odd angle and rub her ear on her shoulder.

"Sir! Do not distract the driver!" Minion scolded like a soccer mom. Megamind just cackled harder and flopped back into his seat.

"Can't help it. I've been without evil for weeks! I'm surprised I have not gone insane. I bet none of the _ladies_ know what that is like." Megamind gestured to the two indicated as he spoke.

"Hey, I can be bad. But only on Sundays." Maya said with an evil smirk.

"And what about _you_ Miss Ritchie? Metrocitys good girl got a dark pas-time?" Megamind asked with a raise of one dark brow.

"No." Roxanne answered with indignity in her voice as she shivered, arms crossed, leaning on the window.

"But surely you have desired to try it? How can you report on good versus evil without examining both sides?" Megamind waited for her answer as he leaned against the car door with a finger tapping his deviously smirking lips.

Bastard had a good point…

The car finely stopped in front of the house but only Minion and Maya unbuckled. "You guys wait here. I'll get you some robes and slippers."

"I'll wash the wet clothes." Minion announced as he headed to the trunk. Both Megamind and Roxanne shivered and cursed the door openers as could air washed over them every time. When they were finely alone, Megamind leaned over to Roxanne's side and whispered: "Would you like to _investigate_ the other side of justice…tonight?" Roxanne ignored the heat in her cheeks as she answered.

"I'm not robbing a bank."

"Oh no! That is too advanced for you. No. I was thinking more along the lines of… sneaking out and having dinner at the forbidden bad neighbor's restaurant." Roxanne gave him a look. Was he asking her out to dinner?

"Really?" Megamind held up his hands in surrender.

"I know it is not as exciting as building a giant robot and crushing an entire building as a chorus of screaming fills the air we must work up to such glory." Megamind's devilish smile faded as he saw Roxanne scrutinizing him out of the corner of her eye. Perhaps this was a bad idea…

The car door opened. "Got some robes." Maya announced as she tossed the coverings to both of them. Megamind shrieked as he almost fell out of the car because he had been leaning on the door. The cold air rushing over his shin in a harsh slap.

"I'll De-hydrate you for that!"

"Well in that case I'll take the robe and you can just run-" Megamind snatched the robe and put it on before she could take it.

"Sometimes I think you're more evil than you let on." He grumbled as he stepped out of the car.

Later, Roxanne got a text: "If you decide to try the darker chocolates in the anatomically incorrect heart shaped box, meet me outside the cabin at 11:00pm L.O.L =)"

The moon was at its fullest and the stars at their brightest. Their combined light spilling onto Roxanne's shiny hair and red nose as she puffed warm air into her gloved hands. This whole situation just screamed 'bad idea' but she owed him one. Roxanne Ritchie owed Megamind, Criminal goof, a favor. Wow.

"Dressing to match your date Miss Ritchie?" Roxanne jumped a little as she saw Megamind come from around the corner. He was wearing normalish clothes. A black leather jacket with a high collar, the hem reaching down to his calves and what looked like…jeans? And his usual boots.

"This is not a date. This is research and how do I know you didn't dress to match me?" She was wearing a long black coat too but hers was velvet. Over the years, she had learned to always bring a set of 'nice clothes'. Even when on an out doorsy vacation. She also had brought a pair of black heels.

"Because black is _my _color."

"Whatever." She didn't feel like arguing. Last time she had gotten carried away and almost got lynched by Maya. Roxanne opened the car door which caused Megamind to panic. He ran over and shut it while making "SSSHH!" sounds.

"What?"

"Sh-sh-shush. Haven't you ever snuck out before? We can't take the car!"

"Why not?" Roxanne decided to play along and whisper like him.

"It makes too much noise. Plus the head lights." He had a look on his face like he couldn't believe her.

"The restaurant is all the way up there!" She whisper-argued as she pointed in its general direction. "And do you know how dangerous it is to be on that road in a car? Let alone on foot at night!"

"That's what makes it fun." Megamind smiled and headed up the dirt road beckoning. "Come on Miss Ritchie. Before they close."

"I. Am. In. Heals!" She actually stomped her foot.

"All the more reason to get going now." He turned from her and walked on. Roxanne gave one last huff. Looked at the car then back to him and followed.

"You're going to get us killed!"

"There haven't been any cars yet!" Megamind was practically prancing while Roxanne followed like the bull about to charge the matador. Suddenly, Megamind got too close to the edge and flayed his arms in panic.

"**AH! Oh my god**!" Megamind then stepped back and started to laugh at the jumpy reporter.

"You jerk!" Roxanne shouted and through a rock at him but missed because it was too dark and he was too quick.

"Lighten up Miss Ritchie! After all, we are on vacation!" He exclaimed with a dramatic wave of his hands. Then his face fell in horror and he pointed behind Roxanne. "CAR!"

Roxanne spun and ducked, as if that would help, but was filled with rage when she saw no headlights and heard laughter.

"I'm going to **kill **you!" This time a look of real horror fell on his features as he ran from the humiliated woman now wielding an even bigger rock.

They made it to the restaurant alive but not unscathed. Megamind was pretty sure his arm would have a bruise for months.

"Table for twoWO! Oh! Ah wow!" The teen clutched his chest as he tried to catch his breath. "Right. The hot sluts alien friend." Without hesitation. Megamind yanked the young man by his sloppy bow-tie over the podium and hissed in his evilest of evil voices.

"Call her a sloot again and I'll lay eggs in your brain." Despite the mispronunciation, the point was well made and when both he and Roxanne where seated. Well, the kid needed to go change his pants.

"Lay eggs in your brain?" Roxanne questioned with a raised brow as she laid her napkin on her lap.

"What the pin head doesn't know will hurt him." Megamind said as he un-zipped his coat.

"Won't hurt him."

"Really? Because a lack of information is usually quite harmful." Megamind shrugged out of his coat and Roxanne hated her eyes for they wondered all over him. He was wearing jeans, with a black button up shirt that had tasty..,tasteful! Blue vertical stripes on it.

Megamind scanned over her attire too. She was wearing a silk lavender top. The material was loos on her body; the silk caught the moons rays and made it look like she had waterfalls running along her body. "You look-" Beautiful? Stunning? Like a Goddess of silken moon light? "Decent."

"Um-thanks…so do you." Roxanne hummed. Their table was quite isolated, located snugged up against a glass window that jutted out to the outside world. You could really get a feel of how far up you really where and how many canyons where in the area. Everything was awash in a silver glow. "This is a great table. Amazing view."

Megamind shrugged as he fiddled with the candle on the table's position. "They always give me this table. Far away from the main room. The waiters draw straws to see who waits on me."

"So you've done this whole 'risking your life on a dark treacherous road just to eat here' thing before?"

"I enjoy living on the edge." Megamind noticed his fork was a centimeter from center and fixed it.

"Yet you can't stand having your fork out of place?"

"There is something to be said about neat cutlery, Miss Ritchie."

"Yah. That needing neat cutlery is for OCD villains." Roxanne felt a presence by the table and looked to find a waitress on vibrate. She was that shaky.

"W-wwhat do you-"

"I'll have the spaghetti and a glass of water." Megamind wouldn't let her finish her sad attempt at a sentence so just ordered and handed her the menu.

"I'll have the chef's salad with ranch-"

"Oh just put the diet away for tonight." Megamind had always been irritated with her salad eating ways and was determined to see her eat real food. Roxanne glared at him but ordered…

"I'll have the cheese ravioli and a bottle of red. If I'm eating a plate of regret, you're drinking alcohol." The waitress sprinted away before Megamind could argue.

"I can't drink alkeyhol!"

"What kind of villain are you?" She asked as she folded her arms and sat back. "I've never heard of a villain that doesn't drink."

"It's not that I 'don't' it's because I 'cant.'"

"And why can't you?" Megamind pointed to his oversized head.

"Most of my blood goes up here. One sip and I'm .09!"

"Then this'll be fun for me." Roxanne just smirked at his attempt to look threatening.

Not long after the wine got there. Everything was funny!

"Ok,ok, try this." Megamind held out his fork with a sample of everything on his plate. Roxanne leaned over to take the food in her mouth. Unaware that her folded arms on the table made her beasts pop out for a quick 'hello!'

Roxanne made a dramatic 'mmmm' sound as she took the food into her mouth. All this made Megamind turn even purpler and made them both start laughing over nothing again. "So I tried some of yours. You try some of _mine_."

It took her a bit longer than necessary to get a bit of ravioli on to her spoon but she managed. Roxanne held the spoon out for him with a 'come hither' smirk. Megamind took the spoon into his mouth, all the while never taking his eyes from Roxanne's. A bit of sauce was left on his bottom lip and Roxanne, having no impulse control any longer, wasted no time in licking it off for him. However, she discovered the skin under the sauce far tastier. So she just plunged her tongue right in.

Megamind moaned in sweet ecstasy, his eyes rolled back and shut. 13 years. 13 _fucking_ years he had waited for this! _Oh_…

He was practically shaking when they separated. Roxanne was no better. Panting and lost in swirling tingles of sweet release. _5 years_…

5 years of wanting…

The door to Roxanne's cabin burst open. Megamind hadn't let go of the women of his dreams the entire way home. Afraid that if he stopped kissing or touching her she would disappear or he would wake up panting and frustrated like so many other nights. Alone and-wait-wait-wait!

Megamind separated his lips from hers and grabbed her wandering manicured hands in panic. She had undone his belt. "What-what's wrong?" Roxanne asked but didn't wait for an answer; her mouth just couldn't stay away from his for long.

Megamind had to turn his head and hide in the hallow of her neck so he could answer her. But it was very difficult to think of words when your sensitive neck and very _very_ sensitive ears are being… oh my god…!

"I-I-mmmmthe. It's…" His eyes nearly crossed as Roxanne took his ear into her lush lips and _bit_.

"Mmmm. Tell me later." Roxanne purred and pushed the stunned blue and purple man onto her bed. The mattress squeaked as Roxanne climbed onto it and straddled his slim hips. She went for his pants again which was when Megamind finally remembered that he had a problem.

"R-Roxanne wait! Please. I… " Roxanne was impatient, drunk, and horny so she was in no mood to wait for him to make a legitimate sentence. With a practiced skill, she undid his jean button and fly. Megamind gasped. Roxanne finely stopped.

What the hell was that? Roxanne pulled his pants down lower to get a better look. It looked…like a flower? A ring of tightly clenched tong-like muscles.

Megamind covered the exposed flesh in shame. "I tried to tell you. I'm…different." Roxanne scooted further back.

"So. You don't have a-"

"No! No! I-I do it's just… internal. Almost all the time. I can barely get it to come out when I masturbate-WAIT! You don't need to know that! Ok. So. I-" Roxanne covered his mouth before he could explode. His eyes where wide with panicked and it was hard to tell if he had ever been blue. His face almost consumed in a blush.

"Ok just. Calm down. I understand just- how do we…" She made an awkward gesture. He seemed to get it.

His hand shaking, he closed his fingers together and put his finger tips in the center of the muscle ring. Then he slowly opened his fingers, running the tips from center to edge in slow strokes then repeating the proses. Roxanne watched him do this a few more times but nothing happened. Embarrassed with his inability to perform, Megamind turned his head in shame. This was so stupid! He had dreamed of this moment for so long and now Roxanne was on top of him and he-"ah!"

Roxanne had picked up where he had left off. Only she had licked her fingertips. It had worked for her other boyfriends so… "Is this better?"

"Y-yes." He gripped her shoulders, not exactly sure where his hands where allowed. Roxanne suddenly stopped and got off of him. Megamind made a whimpering sound in protest that sounded suspiciously like the lonely sounds he made as a child in the darkness of his cell.

Roxanne kissed him so he would know they were not done. "Take my shirt off."

"Unh?" Brilliant question criminal geniuses.

"My shirt." Roxanne took his hands and made them grab the hem. He hesitated a moment before pulling the garment over her head. The silk fell away and Megamind almost blacked out. Her skin was perfect marble, timeless and smooth. Her beasts where cradled in a tan bra. "Do you want to take it off?" It took an observed amount of effort for his eyes to go back up to her face.

"W off?" Yet another brilliant question from the makers of brain not working because of beautiful almost naked women.

Roxanne just smiled and took it off herself. The alcohol still in her system made her a little bit more playful so she ran a hand over her own curves. Her eyes locked on his wide emerald green ones. "Oh…That off."

"And this off too." She said as she unzipped her black pants and let them fall to the floor. The only thing left where her panties. She had a brief moment of regret for not wearing matching underwear but she didn't think he minded right now. "This ain't a strip show boy. Take your clothes off too." Roxanne folded her arms and swirled her finger in the air around his shirt area. It was almost funny how fast he took off what was left of his pants and went to work on his shirt buttons. He paused before he yanked it off and gave her a bashful look. "I'm different up here too. That's why I don't go swimming." He was almost too adorable. Eyes all big and head tilted down like a little kid. Roxanne smiled reassuringly and dipped her hands into the seam the unbutton buttons had made. She gasped in delight as she met soft skin.

"Oh wow. Your skin feels like baby soft. How do you do that? Use three bottles of moisturizer daily?" Megamind chuckled nervously as she slipped the shirt off his shoulders.

"No it's-always been like that."

"That's amazing." Roxanne breathed but she wasn't just talking about his skin. His chest had no nipples and his pecks where higher up then they should be. He had fewer ribs too, no belly button and a…10 pack! "How have you been hiding this? Or better yet why?" He chuckled with pride and flexed it for her.

"Not much to do at prison other than work out and plot. I actually have 20 abdominal muscles but I would have to become a bodybuilder to obtain that."

"Holy shit." Megamind jumped back in surprise.

"Roxanne! You cursed!"

"I'm sorry you're just so…amazing." Roxanne took in his whole body. My god it was beautiful. And she technically hadn't even seen all of it yet! "I think I have an idea of how we could get you to-um…come out." This got his attention.

"Really? How?" He had been trying for a good chunk of his life. But he knew that she was more experienced than him…

Roxanne nodded. "Lie back." Unsure, but willing. Megamind slid back onto the mattress. Funny, he didn't remember it being so cold before.

Roxanne took a moment to appreciate the sight laid out before her and what it meant. She recalled the first time she saw him in high school. Walking in like he owned the place, dressed like a Goth, the shock of realizing that that wasn't paint on his skin. The downright heart attack she'd had when a fish in a gorilla robot body followed him in. The first time he'd kidnapped her at their high school graduation two months after he had been expelled and all the times after that. When had she started to feel something for him? In high school she had been curios but respected that he probably got his fill of being examined. Plus, she was more than ashamed to admit, she didn't want to risk her reputation to get to know him better.

In collage he was an annoyance. Really after you've been kidnapped three times by this guy you know that it wasn't serious. 'Terror-teddy' come on.

However, despite her constant complaints, and she had plenty. The game was fun. He was fun. And good for her career. The banter was like brain food. She had meant it, back at the water fall, when she said that he made her life interesting.

"Roxanne?" Megamind looked like a child when giving their first valentine to the girl they like. Vulnerable but hopeful. She smiled at him and gave him a heartfelt kiss. He could be annoying as hell sometimes but her life was better off with him. A new kind of excitement welled up in her, like standing on the edge of a cliff. Roxanne looked into his beautiful green eyes. If human's eyes where the windows to the soul his where wide open doors; bright with innocence and hope. Roxanne cupped his cheek in her hand, his atoms apple bobbed with his hard swallow. His skin really was a beautiful shade of blue. Electric blue-that's a good name for it. Her fingers ran along his goatee-something she had always loved.

"R-Roxanne?" Roxanne kept her eyes locked with his as her hand trailed down to his sex. She wanted to see what his eyes did if she touched- "Ahu…!" His pupils dilated and a shiver rocked his frame. It was like someone throwing a pebble into a pond the way his eyes shimmered. Roxanne gasped as she felt the tightly clenched muscles rise to meet her hand.

Some men became self-conscious if you concentrated on their sex alone. Roxanne needed to look to _him._ He needed to know it was him that turned her on, not the sex alone. This both excited and scared Roxanne. On one hand, she had found a way to please him but on the other hand this kind of intimacy made it somewhat more personal. Made it more than a one night…thing, when that's all she wanted. Right? Just a one night thing to blame on alcohol in the morning and go back to life after this vacation was over.

She gave him another good stroke with the palm of her hand. This situation should probably disturb her more than it was but when he was making such delicious sounds as his eyes rolled back… To hell with thinking. They were on vacation right? All overcome the first of November right?

She knelt at Megamind's feet and lowered her head. "Ru-um-Roxanne? What are you-?" Roxanne made direct eye contact as she ran the length of her tongue over his sex.

He gasped and arched his back. How could anything feel this wonderful? It was like his blood had been replaced with the essence of a fire work! Burning and tingling and-"Ah-Ah!"

"Megamind…?" It took effort to open his eyes. Roxanne was staring in wonder as the muscles unfurled before her eyes. The glowing tip of his sex emerging like a flower in bloom. It was thick and long and glowing. About nine inches and glowing. Made of slick, velvety, bark blue skin with bumps the size and shape of smaller marbles on the tip and on a few random places along the sides. _Glowing_ bumps.

"My god…" The air she had expelled as she spoke swept over the wet organ and made Megamind cry out in ecstasy. The bumps glowing brighter; than the shaft and the finger like muscles at the base started to move. Wiggling like snakes looking for something warm to be lit into.

"Is it-bad?" Roxanne had to pry her eyes from the glowing miracle between his legs. 'Is it bad' he says. She tried to think of a diplomatic way to say 'this is the weirdest, most beautiful thing I have ever seen' but gave up. Instead, she locked her eyes with his fearful ones and gave his shaft a _lick_.

Megamind moaned and gripped the bed sheets. Roxanne's expression blossomed in surprise when she drew back. The bumps not only glowed but _vibrated_. Roxanne shivered and could feel herself getting wetter at the realization that Megamind's sex was like a penis and vibrator in one!

"It's perfect. How does it glow like that?" Ever ask a scientist to explain something when you envelop their sex in your warm mouth? You don't get an answer until you stop and refuse to continue until they answer.

"Human men have sperm. Their genetic signature travels to the female egg. My genetic material never leaves me. It glows when active. I have theorized that the female's egg is absorbed through the orbs membrane and the genetic material is infused inside. The only reason I can come up with for me having so many is that I would absorb multiple eggs and my immune system would seek out and destroy the imperfect ones then put the one exemptible egg back into the female at some point. Now please do that again!"

He had earned it. Roxanne decided to stop torturing the guy and give him a proper blow job. While she worked Megamind into a blissful puddle she thought about what he said. If she decided to let him have his orgasm she wouldn't have to worry about tasting any god awful semen. Hum… pretty glow, vibrates, not having to worry about birth control, and-ow! As she deep throated him she noticed how his…tentacles? Let's call them tentacles. His tentacles would try to get inside of her mouth as she got closer to them. His entire organ seemed to be searching. His shaft was wiggling around in her mouth and his tentacles would go crazy whenever they felt Roxanne approaching. Like they were trying to latch onto something to hold her there.

Roxanne decided that now was the time to get to the point of why they where there. Even though Megamind looked like he was going to explode from disappointment when she got up. But his expression changed when she removed her panties and climbed back onto him. Megamind's eyes examined her sex as closely as she had examined his. "Aren't humans supposed to have hair down there? Or is it just the males? Because Maya doesn't have poobic hair either."

"It's pubic hair and I wax. You said that you and Maya see each other naked all the time." Roxanne's expression became dangerous. "Do you sleep with Maya?" That better not be true.

He shrugged. "Sometimes we share the same bed but why does this matter now of all times?"

"No I mean do you two have sex?"

"What? No! What gave you that idea?"

"You share a bed and are naked around each other a lot."

"Well yes but that does not mean I find her attractive."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "You don't find a Victoria Secret and Play Boy model attractive?"

"Well I know she's beautiful, I'm not blind, but she's not-" He stopped himself.

"She's not…?"

She could feel his thumbs flutter against her waist as he tried to decide to finish that or not. "She's not…You."

Roxanne's heart skipped a beat or two. That was the most flattering compliment she had ever gotten. A man found her more attractive than Maya Faya, voted sexiest women alive last month and getting paid millions of dollars just to stand there and let people look at her. As surprising as it sounds, Megamind had had this women naked in his bed but he had chosen her.

Roxanne practically swallowed his mouth whole and impaled herself on his shaft in one swift movement. They swallowed each other's cries. It was incredible. Those vibrating orbs landed right on Roxanne's G-spot. Usually Roxanne's partners never found it even if they had been intermit for months. To get that direct stimulation right out of the gate and to have a vibrator put on it. It was almost too much. When his tentacles began to rub against her clitoris, it was too much.

"Oh-OH ok, ok,ok,ok,ok,ok. Ah-mmmmum." Roxanne lifted her hips, preparing for the first thrust. But Megamind panicked. He grabbed her hips like his life depended on it.

"No please. You feel so gooood!"

"Ah- this is how it works." Roxanne was panting but she tried to wriggle her way out of his grip. He only held tighter. "Trust me." Megamind groaned with strain but allowed her to rise and thrust. Each time she withdrew, his eyes clenched shut like he was in pain. Each time she slid back down, he would sigh in relief and moan.

The fourth time, Megamind wrapped his arms around her in a death grip. "I ca-pl-please. Just stay with me." He was shaking. This was important to him.

"A-alright. We'll try it your way." Roxanne sunk back down and like the other times, Megamind looked like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. This was weird. How where they supposed to finish when-

"Ahu!" Roxanne's head was thrown back as a title wave of pleasure washed violently over her entire body. She had to grab the back of his head just to stay anchored to earth. He had found her special spot again and after the orbs knew they weren't going to be forced away again they vibrated more violently. Rocking her whole perception on reality. The tentacles were still searching for something to latch onto but all they could find was her clitoris. Oh well.

Megamind's hearts felt like they were going to explode. She was everywhere! Rippling, squeezing, hot heaven. How could anything feel this good? How could he get her closer? He couldn't figure it out. All he could think of was to kiss her anywhere, everywhere, run his fingers through her hair. Her hair! Those gorgeous locks he has spent almost too many hours watching. Seeing it fall in her eyes, dance through the breeze, move with every breath she took, now he watched it glide through his fingers like water. So soft and light.

Suddenly, Roxanne seized up, eyes lost in Eden. Suddenly, Megamind's hands balled up into fists, and he experienced a super nova first hand.

All too soon, earth was back to the way it used to be. The only thing that changed was that it seemed better than before. Megamind was pinned under Roxanne, both where panting and sweating. "Wow." Roxanne giggled.

"You can say that again."

"Why (pant) did you not hear me the first time?" She just laughed and rolled off of him. "No get back here." Megamind pouted and wrapped his arms around her.

"Are you a coddler?" Roxanne asked as she pulled the covers up and over them then coddled him back.

"Depends. Does that mean I want to be as close as possible to you right now?" She laid her head in the hallow between his neck and shoulder. Sigh of happiness.

"Yes."

"Then yes. I am a cooodlar." Roxanne was too content to correct him. Seems that mind blowing sex made his mispronunciations cute.

"You where amazing. Completely unpredictable." He pulled back to look at her eyes.

"Do you really mean that?" She smiled and tasted his soft lips.

"Every word."

"Does this… does this mean you're my girlfriend?"

Roxanne blinked and sat up. She didn't need to answer. This was a one time thing. When they got back to the city, back to their lives, back to the game that was only in time out. This would have to stop. Never to be mentioned again. He knew this, she knew this, but it didn't stop her sad look or his even sadder sigh. Roxanne cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her. "I'll be your girlfriend." His eyes widened with hope. "But only until we get back into city limits. We can pretend until then." He covered her hand with his.

"So until we get back to the city. I can call you mine?" The pure feminist in her said 'no' but…

"As long as I can call you mine." The shine in his eyes was worth it as well as the kiss to her palm.

"I love you….I mean-until November 1st." He looked slightly panicked that what he had just said screwed everything up. Roxanne ignored the weird feeling in her gut and kissed his worry cringe away.

"I Love you too…till November 1st."

Sleeping is a funny thing. You go to sleep in one position and you wake up with sheets in a hopeless knot around your legs and you're about to pee yourself.

Roxanne looked at the small bathroom in the corner with longing. But at the same time she was haunted by an insane thought: 'if I go. Will Megamind hear me pee?" A pointless concern considering that she had just slept with Metro City's most wanted, enjoyed the hell out of it, and had agreed to be his girlfriend-until next month. Come to think of it. She was probably the first person in history to sleep with a real, blue, alien. Wow she was on a role. 'That's one small orgasm for man-" you know what she wasn't even going to finish that thought.

Perhaps if she was quiet he wouldn't wake up and hear her? Roxanne decided to chance it. She slowly lifted her legs and tried to untie them. Well she _tried_. Honestly what was this? At this rate she'd wet the bed before she'd figure out this mess. She still didn't want to wake Megamind up with her movement so she decided to crawl out of the bed so she could sort out this dilemma.

Roxanne was half way off, her hands where on the floor but her legs where still on the bed. 'Almost…'

"What are you doing?" Roxanne twisted her head around to see Megamind smiling down at her.

"I need to go to the restroom."

"I see. And you decided to take the sheets with you?" Roxanne was just a little irritated at his good mood. But that was just because she was about to explode and the delay wasn't helping.

"I'm stuck and about to wet the bed. Could you stop being an ass and help me?" Speaking of asses, Megamind smacked hers. She blushed and started to crawl again. He was having way too much fun with this.

"All right. I'll untie the damsel for once." Roxanne was now sitting beside the bed trying to untie herself before he got over there just so she could prove that she could. Megamind came around the bed. Roxanne blushed, though she couldn't tell if it was out of frustration or the fact that he was still naked and didn't even bother to cover himself up. He knelt down in front of her and got to work. A few seconds later, the knot had not changed. "How did you manage to get stuck this badly?"

"No idea. How could you be so good at tying knots but you can't unwrap this one?"

"There is a big difference between tying a dastardly knot and untying one." Finely it came loose and Roxanne bolted to the bathroom like her life depended on it. Her dignity certainly did.

"Cover your ears." She demanded as she slammed the door.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

"Ok, ok, fine." He put his hands over his ears. "Is this another social custom I'm unaware of?" Stupid to ask a question when you can't hear the answer. It took a bit for Roxanne to emerge. Megamind still had his ears covered, not sure when he was allowed to uncover them. He raised an eyebrow when he saw her in a robe. "What's the point in wearing that? Are you cold?" Roxanne shook her head at him. Why was it whenever someone couldn't hear properly they felt the need to shout? She waved her hands in a way the let him know he could put his hand down.

"No I'm not cold."

"Then why the robe?"

"Decency." She explained as she squeezed some tooth paste onto her tooth brush and stuck it in her mouth.

He scoffed, "That is ridiculous! I've seen you fully naked and you are far too beautiful to hide yourself from me now. You are my temporary girlfriend after all." He stated it in such a matter o' fact way that Roxanne had no choice than to give him a 'seriously?' look. She turned from him to spit out her toothpaste and rinse her mouth out.

What he just said seemed to remind him of something and after Roxanne dried her mouth off, he tapped her on the shoulder. As she turned to see what he wanted he gave her a full fledged kiss. Unlike her, his breath didn't seem to stink in the morning. Infract, his mouth tasted rather yummy. Like some kind of tropical fruit flavored gum. But he didn't eat any did he? When would he have time to?

They parted. "What was that for?" Not that she minded but still.

He just gave her a dreamy smile."Because I can." His smile gave way to a more thoughtful look as he licked his lips. "You taste like mint."

"Hum I wonder why." Roxanne said as she held up her tube of toothpaste. Some kind of mouthwash/whitening something or other. "You taste like gum."

"Really?" You could kind of see the movement of his tongue around the inside of his mouth. As if one could taste the flavor of one's own mouth. "I'll take your word for it."

"Do you have a headache?"

"_No_… why?"

"You said, and I quote, 'I can't drink alkeyhol. One sip and I'm .09.' I would assume that you would have a hangover now."

"Ah! Yes, well, I may have dellutid it with a large amount of water when you went to the ladies room." Roxanne's mouth made an 'o' shape. That explained a lot. Mind over matter was amazing.

"I was hoping you wouldn't notice. Considering you had already had a fair amount by then."

"Hey, why would y-"

Knock, knock, knock "Roxanne? You up yet? Breakfast is getting cold. Are you trying to skip out because it was my turn to make it? Despite what Megamind says, I'm not _that_ bad."

Suddenly, Roxanne and Megamind could read each other's minds: 'Oh shit!'

Roxanne was first to react, shoving Megamind into the bathroom and closing the door. A moment later, she realized that not just her clothes where on the floor. "No Maya! I-just over slept! Give me a minute, I went to bed naked."

"I'm not a lesbian. I'm not going to give a damn if you're in your birthday suit… Come to think of it that's a stupid saying. I'm never going to use it again." While Maya went off on her tangent, Roxanne had picked up all of Megamind's clothes, opened the bathroom door, and thrown them at his face before shutting him in again. She had opened the cabin door just as Maya finished saying the word 'again'.

They stared at each other for a moment. "Did you bring someone home last night-"

"No!" Roxanne could have kicked herself. She might as well have said yes. Maya walked around her and opened the bathroom door.

"Knew it."

"How?" Megamind demanded.

"I have to share hotel rooms with sluts as a part of my job discription and your bed wasn't slept in… Plus I thought I heard your voice." Megamind came out of the bathroom while adjusting the top of his pants and zipped up the zipper. "Which reminds me. Why don't you wear underwear?" He turned to pick up his shoes then headed over to the bed.

"Sometimes I do but then I thought: why should I bother? Clothes under clothes, I mean really."

"Please don't tell anyone Maya." Roxanne pleaded as she fiddled with the tie on her bath robe. They both looked at her like she was nuts.

"Tell anyone what?" Maya asked as she picked Megamind's shirt up and folded it. Megamind found this somehow irritating and snatched it back.

"About me and Megamind." Honestly! What did she think she meant? This would be the biggest scandal since the Pertino incident! Oh god-she could see the headlines now: _Damsel knocks custom baby seal boots with villain. Metro Man not good enough for Metro whore. _And the worst_ Stockholm Syndrome victim raped in woods. _

"Why would I tell anybody about this? What kind of friend-no-what kind of person do you think I am?" Roxanne was both relived and a little embarrassed that she had offended some one.

"I didn't mean it like-"

"No. It's fine. You don't know me that well. Just-let's get some breakfast before it gets cold." They had just stepped outside when Minion called for Megamind and, knowing the fish's 'you have some explaining to do boy' tone, Megamind ran off to do damage control. Leaving Roxanne and Maya alone. Maya made a point of yanking the reporters robe rope as she started to walk away. "I would like to talk to you in privet. You and I are going on a little hike later. Best not tell Megamind about this." A tremor of terror went down Roxanne's spin as Maya passed her.

'Oh god.'

Breakfast had been…interesting. She was pretty sure Megamind had told Minion about the events of last night because when they had come out of Minion's room, Minion looked like he had been the one who had gotten laid, while Megamind's cheeks and ears where tinged purple. Minion had been especially nice to her and kept giving her knowing smiles. Roxanne had volunteered to wash dishes and at one point Megamind had come up behind her and wrapped her in his arms. Again she asked why and again his response was 'because I can.'

It was mid morning when Maya announced the dreaded 'hike.' Megamind had, of course, wanted to come along but Maya had informed Minion of her plan so he had distracted/prevented him from going. It felt like a rock was in Roxanne's stomach as they ascended the canyon that lay at the back of the property. Cream-what was it? By the time Maya lead her on a new trail that Roxanne had never been on before, but she no longer cared. Was she going to push her off a cliff? Take her far out and leave her? Her nervous mind planted a very vivid scene in her head: 'Hay look at that.' 'What?' (Shove) 'AAHhhh…!'

"The crazy neighbors owned all of this."

"Uh. I'm sorry all of what?"

"All of this." Maya repeated as she gestured to the whole valley. The property was in a canyon. The road that led to the town fallowed the hills curves out. The river cut through the canyon, following the road at the beginning but flowed straight to them before it disappeared under the ledge. It fallowed the canyon wall after that. "That's the cabin. From that smaller canyon to the river is ours. That pile of junk over there is the crazy neighbor's house. And the land beyond the river belongs to that house." She pointed to a house on the other side of the river that looked like it was carved out of a rock. Horses grazing here or there. "He's old. No kids. I'm set to buy it after he passes. He hates the neighbors as much as I do."

"What will you do with all that land?"

"I don't know. But I'll never sell it to developers. This place deserves to be free…" Silence fell. But it was a good silence. Born of wind and wilderness. "What is your plan concerning Megamind?"

Roxanne laughed nervously and swept her bangs aside. "I was wondering when you were going to ask that." Roxanne made shore that all the words she was about to say where good enough to be spoken. They may be her last. "We are…going to…indulge ourselves. But as soon as we get back to Metro City it's over!"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why wait until next week? Why not end it now?"

"…We're on vacation." She hoped that made enough sense to end this conversation. It sure as hell made none to her.

"Will you two be ok with that?"

"Look!" Roxanne was frustrated. When she was frustrated, she paced. "I know you two have this…bizarre friendship and you two are one slip up during one of your- **naked parties** away from being in my place but-UG! I don't know! All these years-and you-and this place-and-and-I don't know! I don't know okay!" Roxanne crashed on a rock. Head in her hands.

"So what you're saying is. That now you know he could get a pretty girl if he wanted. There is a chance that he could be taken away from you. And being away from all the obligations and the pressure of 'you have to be this way' has pushed you to take a forbidden fruit for a taste test. See if you like it before someone else eats it." Roxanne's face was red with rage when she jerked it up to tell her off. But her mojo was lost when she saw that Maya was a lot closer than before and unlike her, Mayas was deadly calm.

"You listen to me. Megamind is different than other guys. With humans you can have sex with them and leave them. That's all they want anyway. His connections run far deeper. Perhaps this is because of his upbringing where they were few and far between or maybe it's in his DNA. The bottom line is: you can not just love him and leave him. You may be gone but Minion and I are left with the pieces. Even if he puts on a brave face so I will make this clear. Tread carefully because if you break his heart, I will break your arm."

It was getting dark when Roxanne finely got back. "Where were you?" Megamind asked as he ran up to kiss her. She was tempted to ask why but she somehow knew what the answer would be. Plus she had decided to just go with it and kiss him back.

"Oh you know. Girl talks take a while."

"Did you fall?" He asked as he noticed her less-than perfect hair and dirty cloths.

"-yah."

Maya entered the kitchen door to the porch in a similar state. "You too? Huh. I would assume one with so called 'magnet feet' would never fall prey to gravity and slick surfaces on her home turf." Maya took out a jug of juice and a glass she had used earlier.

"Yeah, well. Happens. So, what did you boys do?" Megamind pointed over to Minion who was hunched over an almost-finished 10,000 piece puzzle.

"It's mostly sky so it was rather difficult." Minion explained as he held up two sky peace's so he could see them better.

"Perhaps it was more difficult for the minion but not for the incredibly handsome genius you see before you!"

"Of course not sir. If not for you being distracted about Miss. Faya and Miss. Ritchie being alone together and no doubt talking about you, you would have completed this puzzle within minutes."

"Minion!"

"I want juice." Roxanne suddenly announced seemingly out of the blue. Maya heard this and pulled a new glass out of the cubbed.

"Apple, orange, mango?"

"Mango, if you please." Maya pulled the bottle out of the fridge while Roxanne made her way over to the kitchen. When the two women were standing next to each other, a kind of grudging respect took place.

"Nice right hook," Maya whispered.

"You kick like a mule on steroids," Roxanne whispered back. For some reason, they felt more comfortable with each other than ever before.

"Roxanne and I are going up Crem Sellers." Megamind responded to Maya's question. Maya raised a brow at the reporter's choice in attire.

"A skirt? Not what I would have chosen." Roxanne just chuckled nervously.

"I ran out of out-doorsy clothes." It was a lie. Roxanne was wearing a purple and black plaid skirt with 4 black buttons in the front. Those buttons opened for easy access…

"Ok…Well take your time. Stretch your legs as much as possible before the drive. Minion and I will be cleaning the cabin while you two are gone." It was their last day. Sheets were to be washed, floors vacuumed, turn off the water. Clean and pack up. Drive back and forget…

But not before one last time…

Minion paused in his window washing as he watched the pare leave. "Why did you do it Maya?" Maya stopped packing the leftover food up, eyes cast down.

"Do what?"

"Set them up for heart break." Minion said as he tossed the rag in the bucket a bit harder than strictly necessary. Maya toyed with the edge of the paper bag between her thumb and forefinger.

"It's not like I planned this. We were going anyway and then Roxanne…He's been in love with her since high school. You know more than anyone how deeply he feels for her. I just thought he might get his chance out here to-"

"To what, Miss. Faya? Get a taste of what he's been dreaming of, longing for, for years then have it yanked away?" Minion realized he had been shouting and took a breath to calm. Yelling never solved anything. "I know you want him to be happy. I'm glad he found a friend that cares about him as much as I do. But this is not the way to do it."

"How would you have me do it? He deserves better than what he has and he doesn't even know it! Maybe this will be the push he needs to change his own life. Maybe he'll fight for the right reasons for a change! He can't be as lonely as me, Minion! I won't let him!" Maya through a glass at the wall. She covered her mouth to keep the sobs down. Many people have told her she was ugly when she cried. 'Ugly people are never princesses. Princesses always find true love.'

But she couldn't stop crying. Arms held her. Fake ones. "We're all lonely Maya. Having one more person in your life doesn't change that."

"No." Maya sniffed through her tears. "But the right person does."

The air was electrified. The chill seeped into your blood stream and made you feel more alive. Most of the time, we are unaware of our bodies. Pain reminds us. As does desire.

It seemed like an eternity before they were a good enough distance away from the cabin. But as soon as they were, Roxanne made her move. She grabbed his slim hips, keeping him in place as she dragged her tongue up the column of his neck to the base of his skull. He gasped and shivered, she had learned exactly how sensitive his neck really was. Especially at the back. It would make sense after all; it supported his massive head and was constantly concealed by a collar of some length. But not today. "Roxanne." He breathed, the word almost swallowed in stillness. Even the land would keep their dirty secret.

"Take me now." She needn't ask twice. Megamind pinned her to a snowy bank. The buttons undone leaving her bear.

"Roxanne…" He blushed as he saw her nakedness. No panties…

She cupped his cheek in her hand. If this was to be their last day together as lovers. They might as well make it count. She cupped the back of his head and urged him down so she may speak in his ear. "Taste me." He shivered all the more. This had quickly become his favorite activity. And she his favorite flavor. 'Like salt and caramel.' Or so he said. He lifted her legs up and placed them on his shoulders. She had leggings on but they didn't do much. How sweet of him to keep her from the cold. "Ahuh-" Roxanne moaned as she felt his first taste. A long, hot, stroke of the tongue so she could feel every taste bud. He blew on the moisture he had left there. "Ah! Megamind. Mmmmm." So good. So slow. Too slow. "Please." He had been avoiding her clit. Deliberately skipping over it at every pass.

"Mmm what was that Miss. Ritchie?" Roxanne opened her mouth but words failed to come. He had thrust his tongue in all the right places just to keep her from speaking. "I can not read minds. If you want something, you will have to ask." He was good at this. And he knew it. Roxanne gripped the snow as her head was thrown back against her will.

"Oh God Megamind! Just shut up and fuck me!" Megamind cringed. He hated that word. As far as he was concerned, it didn't belong in the bedroom. Or the snow drift as the case may be.

"Not when you use such _inapprupriet_ language." Just to punish her. He gave her most sensitive point the lightest flick of his tong.

"Love me then just-_AH_!" He loved making her moan when she was trying to speak. It was like a game to see if she could make an understandable sentence despite what he did.

"That's much better." He got on his knees and undid his zipper. He had gotten much better at bringing himself out recently. Don't get him wrong, he thoroughly enjoyed Roxanne's attentions but it was somehow satisfying knowing he could perform any time now. Roxanne moaned in appreciation at the sight. So pretty, so _exiting_. He positioned himself at her entrance and joined his lips with hers. "I love you."

He put his vibrating orbs right on her clit and entrance. "I love your eyes, like wishing wells."

He entered her. "I love your wit, I wake you up so early because I can't wait to hear what you have to say."

He sunk in more. "Oh-I love your body. Torturous heaven and soft as a dream."

A little more. "I love your heart. Pure and strong." All the way in.

"I love your mind. You're so smart."

She clutched his back as he began to work his magic. "I love you so much." He held her closer.

'Don't leave me.'

"_Megamind._"

"I'm sorry for you Minion." Said fish stopped in his folding.

"Why?" Maya picked up the next towel.

"Megamind at least has a chance to find someone. I remember what you told me last Christmas. That you are the only one of your kind. That Megamind's mother made you to protect her son and nothing more. You have no life of your own." He just shrugged and went back to folding.

"I don't mind. Some people wander around their entire lives not knowing their creator or what their purpose in life is. Mine is to protect sir." He lowered his washcloth in thought. "But am I doing a good job? Is keeping his heart from breaking part of protecting him too?" Maya patted his arm.

"If you keep thinking like that, you'll end up like the mother board in I-Robot." Minion understood.

Keeping him from life would just be too…heartless.

There was a place in the trail where you had to duck under a big bolder and crawl up a slope that could be used as a slide on the way down. Megamind had been helping Roxanne up the slop when he had a better idea. Roxanne was now pinned to the wall as he thrusted into her from behind.

"I puffer-uhg- staying inside you!" Megamind panted as he as he gripped her hip harder.

"Yes-ah-but it's good to try new things…ah!" Roxanne's face contorted in orgasm as she practically crushed Megamind's slim fingers in their joined hands.

"That's the last of the food." Maya announced as she shut the back hatch. She leaned on the car trunk for a breather. Minion was sweeping the front porch when a thought crossed her mind. "Hey Minion! Are you gay?" The sweeping stopped, it looked like Minion was giving it some serious thought.

"You know, I've never really thought about it but…yeah. I guess so." Question answered. Back to sweeping.

"Oh."

'Figures'

Megamind spread his arms wide and let the sensation of flying wash over. He was naked. Half of him in mid air over the cliff while Roxanne straddled his hips to keep them joined and to keep him from falling. She smiled at his look of pure bliss, than she gasped as his orbs vibrated faster and cold wind caressed her curves like a lover. Like her Megamind.

Her Megamind.

"That was a long hike." Minion noted when Roxanne and Megamind finely came home. He looked like the daddy and Maya the mommy reading on the couch and giving them 'welll' looks.

Megamind grumbled something before speaking up. "Could we just leave already?"

"Fine." Maya said while raising her book and snapping it shut. "Been waiting on you two." Minion got up and explained the driving arrangements. He and Maya would drive back with the food while Roxanne and Megamind road back in the other car. Megamind and Roxanne waited for the others to leave before they intertwined hands.

The house was as it was when they came. Strange how it felt more like home now then Metro City. But the game was not over. It was only in time out. Roxanne took one last look around, soaking it all in.

"Mandagin."

"Excuse me?"

"That's my real name. Quenetor Esfinoon Mandagin." Mandagin looked at her sadly. "The ruff translation is: His high prince- destined-to-be-elder Mandagin."

"Prince…" Did he really mean…

"I don't know much. My father used to stay up very late talking to me. Telling me things about what was going on. I fell asleep to his voice every night until…" He looked down. "You know." The black hole…

Roxanne squeezed his hand. "Thank you." She could tell. It took a lot of trust to tell her that. But she had nothing to offer in return. All she could do was wrap him in her arms as they said goodbye to their sanctuary.

The sun was coming up. They had delayed as much as possible. Stopping at any little thing. But it was futile. The game was on time out. Not over.

You could see Metro skyline from here. They were almost in city limits. Megamind was getting twitchier the closer they got. Roxanne was rubbing the stupid little key chain he had gotten for her as if it kept her heart pumping. Megamind watched the mile markers, 4 more till city limits. 3 more, 2 more, 1 mo-NO!

Megamind slammed on the breaks. Thank god there were no other cars to be seen. "Uh! Megamind!" Roxanne protested as she was tossed around by G-force.

"I don't want to go back." His knuckles where white on the steering wheel. Eyes fixed at the dreaded last mile marker.

"Megamind-"

"I don't want to lose you."

"Mega-"

"We can go somewhere. Any ware you like-"

"**Mandagin**!" His eyes snapped to hers. Tearstained and begging. Roxanne looked like the world was crashing in. "We can't."

"Why not!"

"It's not right."

"Who the fuck cares!" Perhaps there was a good time to use that word.

"We shouldn't."

"Why."

"Our jobs."

"Screw them."

"People."

"Don't matter."

"Money."

"I have more than Maya and you combined times 15."

"We'll be on the run." A tear slipped from his eye.

"You said 'we'."

It was silent. This was crazy. Roxanne looked to the city then back to Megamind. Mandagin. Then back to the city. Sometimes all it takes is one second of insane courage. Or insane stupidity. She took his hand in hers.

White picket fences and a hundred bratty grand kids where boring anyway.

Epilog

2 years later

Roxanne stood on the balcony. Looking at a city with a name she could never pronounce. She would live here until they played map darts and move to another. She was still reporting but in a web cam rather than a local news network. And to a far bigger audience. Who knew rebelling got you an extra million viewers or so?

True, some hated her for her choice. But the funny thing was she didn't. Wayne still checked up on her sometime. He always claimed that he was just 'in the neighborhood' but that was hard to believe. Because his neighborhood was a continent away.

Maya got an international contract so they usually went wherever she did. Nice to have a friend in a foreign land. Arms held her from behind and lips met her neck. Even nicer to have a lover.

"Any regrets?" He asked that sometimes. But not as often as before.

She spun around to face him. "How could I when I have you?" Mandagin smiled. They had gotten so much closer over the past two years. It was hard to recall a time where they had once been Damsel and villain. Good and evil.

"Good." He said as he held up a small box. A ring box…

White picket fences where boring anyway.

The End

AN: Yes. You have finished reading my store. Hope it wasn't a complete waste of your time. Review!


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